Growing Up Types – Who Blamed You?

Adult Wisdom – Blaming other people for your problems will keep the problems around.  Do you know people that always blame other people for their problems? Nothing that happens to them is ever their fault, they won't admit to being any part of the problem.  The Monarch butterfly has to migrates 2500 miles in the winter to Mexico or California for two reasons. They cannot withstand freezing weather in the northern and central continental climates in the winter. Also, the larval food plants does not grow in Mexico or California, so the spring generation must fly back north to places where the plants are plentiful. If this butterfly decides not to migrate because they do not want to travel 2500 miles one way in the winter and another 2500 miles back in the spring, that decision will cause them to start to die of the cold temperatures in their northern feeding grounds or of starvation in the warm climate of Mexico or California.  Whose fault is that? If a butterfly want to be successful in its reproduction process it have to take the responsibility of its decisions. Either one of these decisions can be disaster or life for them, therefore they must make the decision to migrate to survive. If they do not they cannot blame anyone but themselves for the results.  Blaming other people is immature and you cannot get adult results with immature actions.

Growing Up Types: Do what you want taught!

Do what you want taught!

 CV White Quote: “If I see you doing something that works and I need that to operate in my life, you have just taught me a good lesson.

Most of the time teaching is done by talking to people and that is one way to learn but the best lessons are learned by watching what people do.  If you want to know the truth about a person just watch what they do. Also, if you watch long enough you may see something that is working well in their lives and then you can get the same result if you do what they do to get that result. But you do not have to spend the time that they spent to learn to do it.

One of the things that parents in my generation use to say to us their children, “you do what I say, not what I do”, but sometimes they would do opposite of what they said to do.  It could have been something good or bad, it did not matter to us. We consistently did what they said while they were watching. However, when it came to setting a pattern for our adult life, we did what they did and not what they said to do because that was what we saw working in their lives good or bad. And if it was OK for them, it was OK for us.

As an adult, you have to understand that what you do has a great impact on people and will influence people more often than what you say.  For instance, it you tell people that you lead (family, work or friends) that they have to be on time because of a time agreement that was made or because an event that starts at a particular time and you are never on time for anything nor do you keep your appointments that you personally make by being on time they are not going to listen to you.  More than likely, they will be late arriving to appointments because they see that it was not important enough for you to be on time so why should they have a problem with anyone about being late.

These is a hint to adults that want to teach a good lesson to children or adults, say and do what you want learned and you will usually get the desired results.  Let what you say be what you do and that will be taught by saying and doing. This is a stronger lesson than just doing.

When Does Loan Me Mean Give Me?

Deuteronomy 28:12 - The LORD will open the heavens, the storehouse of his bounty, to send rain on your land in season and to bless all the work of your hands. You will lend too many nations but will borrow from none. NIV

C. V. White Quote: (When you fail to plan financially you plan to go into someone else’s checkbook.)

When Does Loan Me Mean Give Me?

Some people have not learned the difference between a loan and a gift.  Lend me and give me are two different things. The difference is a life skill that should be learned as a child. 

Have you ever heard a child say to a parent loan me a dollar or let me hold a dollar? It may be a different statement depending on what state you live in but for a child it literally means give me.  They know if they say lend me it is different from give me. But they are thinking that they will have a better chance of getting it if they ask for it as if they were going to give it back.  They know that they do not have any income except an allowance if their parents are parents that give allowances if not; they have no way to give it back. Therefore, they know that their parents have that information as well.  If their parents do not teach them the difference between loaning a dollar and giving a dollar, they grow up to be adults with that kind of understanding.  Adults are expected to have the desire to pay back money or any item that they borrow, however persons that were not taught the difference as children, still ask to borrow when they really are asking for it to be given to them.  Once the loan transaction is made they are very relaxed about giving it back if they ever do. 

This is more common among family and friends but some people have this attitude when they borrow from institutions.  If you ask some of them that do this, they may say something like I am not working to pay bills I am working to live.  The truth of the matter is that you are working for the lender if you borrow.  What you are literally saying to a person or to an institution when you borrow is “I am committing my future earning to you and when I get my check you get yours first”. If that is not the understanding that a person has they do not know the difference between borrowing and giving.

Sometimes people will have the money to pay their debts but they do not because they are still operating out of the mind of a child expecting adult results.  The adult reality is that if you go to family and friend too many times to borrow money or anything else and do not make a practice of paying it back they will not continue to loan you things, and when you really want a genuine loan there is not one available.