Growing Up Types – Choose Friends for where you are going not where you are

If you want to be wise make sure that you seek out wise people and make them your friend. If you want an education makes sure that your friends want an education.  If you do not select friends that way, remember birds of a feather flock together.  You will be the same as the group you fellowship with.

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Growing Up Types – Don’t Have the answer Be Quiet

CV White Quote“Change is inevitable, but it is up to you how long it takes” 

If you find yourself in a cocoon (experiencing change in your life, becoming something new and fresh) don’t plan to stay there but do keep still until the change is complete. Then and only then will you become what you have been waiting for.

When Does Loan Me Mean Give Me?

Deuteronomy 28:12 - The LORD will open the heavens, the storehouse of his bounty, to send rain on your land in season and to bless all the work of your hands. You will lend too many nations but will borrow from none. NIV

C. V. White Quote: (When you fail to plan financially you plan to go into someone else’s checkbook.)

When Does Loan Me Mean Give Me?

Some people have not learned the difference between a loan and a gift.  Lend me and give me are two different things. The difference is a life skill that should be learned as a child. 

Have you ever heard a child say to a parent loan me a dollar or let me hold a dollar? It may be a different statement depending on what state you live in but for a child it literally means give me.  They know if they say lend me it is different from give me. But they are thinking that they will have a better chance of getting it if they ask for it as if they were going to give it back.  They know that they do not have any income except an allowance if their parents are parents that give allowances if not; they have no way to give it back. Therefore, they know that their parents have that information as well.  If their parents do not teach them the difference between loaning a dollar and giving a dollar, they grow up to be adults with that kind of understanding.  Adults are expected to have the desire to pay back money or any item that they borrow, however persons that were not taught the difference as children, still ask to borrow when they really are asking for it to be given to them.  Once the loan transaction is made they are very relaxed about giving it back if they ever do. 

This is more common among family and friends but some people have this attitude when they borrow from institutions.  If you ask some of them that do this, they may say something like I am not working to pay bills I am working to live.  The truth of the matter is that you are working for the lender if you borrow.  What you are literally saying to a person or to an institution when you borrow is “I am committing my future earning to you and when I get my check you get yours first”. If that is not the understanding that a person has they do not know the difference between borrowing and giving.

Sometimes people will have the money to pay their debts but they do not because they are still operating out of the mind of a child expecting adult results.  The adult reality is that if you go to family and friend too many times to borrow money or anything else and do not make a practice of paying it back they will not continue to loan you things, and when you really want a genuine loan there is not one available. 

Growing Up Types -- Don't sign up to more than you can handle

Adult Wisdom - Do not co-sign for debt. If you do that means that you are taking on another bill. If you cannot afford to pay the bill, you still have to do so. If you say yes to co-signing, do not get angry if the other person does not pay it, just pay it because it is your bill. This is a caterpillar and it does not have the mind of the adult butterfly. It knows that it cannot take the responsibility of any other caterpillar because it only had two weeks to be ready to attach itself to a stem or leaf and transform into a chrysalis and be in a cocoon, unable to pay anybody's debt. It has to be careful about where it allows its legs to take it to and so do you. If a person cannot sign for their debt that means that you are being ask to take it on.  If you are not willing to pay the entire debt alone, do not co-sign because there is no monetary value in the co just the sign.  There are many ways to help people that find themselves in financial stress and one of them is by giving something else (budgeting, credit report help, food,  etc.).  Find another way to help or support if you desire to do that but do not set yourself up for the same financial stress.